Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Live my life

I’m gonna live my life
No matter what, we party tonight
I’m gonna li-li-live my life
I know that we gon’ be alright

 

Sometimes, when you don’t have to think about it, you think that you are not worried about it and you are cool with it.

But if you can’t get away with it and you have to do something, it then starts to crush you.

 

All and all, this too shall pass!

 

 

Read Full Post »

8. The Wonderful Wizard of OZ – L. Frank Baum, 23/4/2012

Sometimes, I envy children born in western countries. They do what children should do at their age, not like their Asian friends. More importantly, they always have suitable stories for them. I believe there are ancient stories in every culture. However, in the west, people aren’t self-satisfied what they inherited from their ancestors, they create new legendary stories. “The wonderful wizard of OZ” is one of such stories, which was published in 1900.

I believe this story is appealing to most juveniles. I even found it interesting to me as well. Quite often, it would make me laugh. For example, it was very funny that Dorothy’s house was caught up in a cyclone and accidentally killed a wicked witch when it landed in Munchkin Country. The story is full of things that I had never heard before. I also enjoyed it a lot because it makes sense, well, most of the time. I like things that make sense. So I think western kids are very fortunate. When the world is so much globalised today, certainly eastern kids can read western stories. However, I believe it would be even better if they can read stories stemming from their own cultures. Eastern people like to borrow certain things. Maybe they should contribute some occasionally.

7. Robinson Crusoe – Daniel Defoe, 19/4/2012

Firstly, this book is really long. And I found it not very easy to ready sometimes. Now I’m very glad I finally finished it.

The first part of the book wasn’t very interesting to me. Robinson had some other misfortunes before he escaped from a devastating storm and started living on a remote island. His descriptions of things were lack of details. It made me think that the things he talked about were not real. Gradually, it became more interesting. He described his life on the island, alone. Such as how he grew barley, how he tamed sheep and so on. That was kind of new to me. So I think it is like a handbook, very useful for people who will live in a remote place. While he was on the island, it seems his belief in god helped him a lot. His talks with his man Friday about the religion were interesting sometimes. For example, Friday asked Robinson if God is so omnipotent, why didn’t he kill the devils? However, since I’m not a religious person, I didn’t quite enjoy it when pages and pages of what I read were about God. Finally, I found the last part wasn’t quite necessary. The only part that intrigues people would be his life on that island. Once he was rescued, then it could just end there I reckon.

All in all, I found the book a bit interesting since I never read anything like this before. And I realised I could live a similar life like his if I was him.

6. How to stop worrying and start living – Dale Carnegie, 25/3/2012

I am not a person who worries a lot. This is because I’ve seen what worries can do to me long time ago. When I was bothered by something, I found it hard to get to sleep. I would toss and turn over and not feel refreshed in the morning. What made it worse was that I would get more gray hair very soon. Nobody wants gray hair when they are not at that age. So I tried to control my emotions and not to worry. Over the years, I found a few ways very helpful in overcoming worry:

1. Never burden myself with the past. Actually I learnt this from a TV series. I learnt that the past is the past. No matter it was good or bad, I would just forget it. Over the years, I have had the habit of forgetting the past. It just can be done naturally.

2. Also, I don’t worry about the future. Whenever I’m worried about something that is yet to happen and I find that this worry will take me nowhere. Then I will just ask myself to stop. It makes more sense to focus on something that is happening today than something that may or may not happen tomorrow.

3. Sometimes, I think of the people who are fighting for a living, like those in Africa. I also pity poor children living in the countries of China who not only lacks sufficient food, they also don’t get proper education. And they will never get a better life. Compared to their problems, you will also come to the conclusion that: my problem is nothing.

4. Look at the bright side. When I failed in doing something, I would tell myself that good luck is coming since there is a balance between good lucks and bad lucks. And if I really can’t look at it positively, I try not to look at it negatively. What do people say this? Fortune and misfortune are two buckets in the same well. Nothing can be all good or all bad.

Even so, I still found this book very helpful, because there are more techniques to conquer worry. For example, in the future I can do some pep talks. Also, I learnt some ways to relax. Even I finished reading it today, I will still read it again. Like a reader said: this is not a reading book in the ordinary sense; it is written as a guide book-to a new way of life!

5. 生活的艺术 (The importance of living) – 林语堂, 1/3/2012

之所以读这本书,是因为读另外一本书的时候,书中经常引用此书。很多东西说得很有道理,所以就拿来读了一下。结果是那本还没读完,这本差不多26万字的书确读完了。

我认为作者林语堂可以说是个思想家,他对很多东西都很有想法,而且也想得很透彻。所以他写的这本书也不是通常那种只有一个论点,而其他大部分都是为了证明这个论点所写。他的文章有些象是警语。只写自己所想,而且大部分时候是对的。这有些象“论语”。人们觉得“三人行,必有我师焉!”一定是对的,孔子没有论证,而人们也从不怀疑为什么一定要是三个人。

书中作者对很多事情都阐述了自己的看法。想法有时候很独特,也很新奇有趣。试举一两例:

“论肚子”:如果西方人觉得东方人(中国人)是比较拘谨的话,那到了饭桌上就可以看到完全不同的中国人。饭桌上的中国人是精神焕发的,是兴致高昂的。一边津津有味的吮着鸡腿,一边高声赞美可口的饭菜。中国人对吃的讲究,是因为对吃的重视,也是出于一种本能。他引用了一句古人的诗:“肠满诚好事,余者皆奢侈”。所以满足了一个人的肚子,其他的就什么都好说了。这也是为什么中国人喜欢在饭桌上谈问题的原因。他又说:“假使有人去做一次统计,那么他便会发现一个人的宴客次数与他的升官速度是有一种绝对的关系存在的”。虽然他是在大约70年前说的这句话,很不幸的是,今天的中国依然如此。

基督教:我之前对基督教也有一些不解的问题,不过因为了解甚少,也不想去研究。所以也就没有系统地想一下而得到一些答案。林语堂则对基督教提出一些尖锐的问题,比如:其一是,天堂说法的正确性。基督教的理论是,信奉基督教,从而摒除自己的罪恶,死后就可以上天堂,永远陪伴在上帝的左右。而这个说法是和“创世纪”里上帝不要人类永生的原始说法矛盾的。据“创世纪”的记载,亚当和夏娃所以被逐出伊甸园,并不是像一般人所相信的那样,为了偷尝善恶树的果子,而是为了上帝怕他们再度违背命令,去偷吃生命树的果子,因而得到永生。其二是,人类只不过是地球上的一种动物,地球是太阳系的一员,而更大的还有银河系或更大的人类未知的宇宙。如果真有上帝的话,如果真的以为上帝整天会为人类这点小事烦心的话,人类未免也自大了一些。

书中其实讲了很多的道理,表面上看是对中国文化的介绍与推崇,而实际上是介绍东方人如何享受一种悠闲的生活。应该仔细读一下,慢慢体会。不过因为他写得很流畅,而且诙谐有趣,所以我有时一天就会读一两万字。以后闲时应该再翻看一下。

4. To kill a mockingbird – Harper Lee, 2/2/2012

When I tried to borrow this book from the library of the university, I found that it was available in the social science library and also in the law library. So I thought: this book must be very good.

The first part of the book was very enjoyable. The narrator was a little girl, Scout. She, her older brother Jem and their widowed father (Atticus) lived in a fictional town called Maycomb in Alabama. Every summer, a boy called Dill about Scout’s age would come to Maycome and play with them. They did some silly stuff, like every little kid would do. The things told in the book were so real and believable. The author is really a great story teller. It seems that all she did when she was little was writing down the thing that happened each day. Or else, how could she remember all those things? Somehow, it made me bring all my past memories back. I remembered all the stupid things I did long time ago. And it was really nice to remember all those things.

However, when her father, a middle-age lawyer, was appointed to defend a crippled black man, who was accused of raping a young white girl, everything changed. Note that it was when black people were slaves. So her father would be often laughed at and called a “nigger-lover”. Even her father did his best, the black man was found guilty, just as always. There was not much fun in reading anymore. All the incidents happened and conversations between the kids and their father were telling people or implying how to be a decent man, how to treat people equally, how to consider things from other people’s point of view etc. More importantly, her father also set a good example for lawyers.

This book was recommended as one of the books that people should read before they die, ranked even before Bible. For me, I really admired the way Atticus raised his children. Scout and Jem were lucky to have Atticus as their father. On the other hand, they also made their father proud.

3. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain, 18/1/2012

This book was published in 1884. I’ve never finished an English book published before that I guess. And I had no idea what it would be like. Reading this book was like torture sometimes. The differently-spelled words and different grammars made me never stop guessing, trying to figure out the meanings of some sentences. And the accent of black slaves was even worse. Sometimes, I could only get the meaning of one or two sentences of a paragraph. It was even more frustrating when the slave said more than one paragraph. All these troubles made me enjoy less of the book. People whose native language is English will enjoy more.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the adventures of Huck Finn, especially when he and a runaway slave Jim followed the Mississippi River. They had interesting experiences and were later joined with two poor con men, the king and the duke. The novel presents a morally flawed world, when black people were slaves and people were not so civilized. It reminds me that in the movie “Gone with the wind”, the black woman was not just a servant, she was a slave. Tell me if I was wrong. Back to the novel, I didn’t enjoy the last part of it very much, when the very melodramatic prank Tom Sawyer showed up. He and Huck worked together to set the slave free and Tom really messed it up.

All and all, I liked this novel. I will like it more if I can understand every word of it. Twain seemed to have a quick mind and humorous. I laughed now and then while reading this book.

2. The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger, 5/1/2012

“Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all.  Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me.  And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.  That’s all I do all day.  I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.”

Before I read this book, I thought it was about a catcher or the rye or something like that. Then I would be very interested. However, after a few pages, I started wondering what I was really reading about. So I did a search about the book and found the words above said by the character Holden Caulfield.

The book is about this 16 year old Holden Caulfield, who was expelled from another school after failing four subjects out of five. He decided to leave the school a few days early before the end of term. He could take a short holiday before returning home. By then, he expected his parents to be able to accept the expulsion more calmly. So this book describes what happened to him during a few days, actually three days, from Saturday to Monday. He talked about the activities and the thoughts he had. It seems he had a lot of difficulties adapting to the adult world. He found most people were phony (superficial, hypocritical, or pretentious). He hated that. He hated it all. A few bad experiences that happened to him made it worse. And finally he had a mental collapse.

It kind of drove me crazy knowing that this guy, this good guy would go insane while I was reading. I shouldn’t have read the introduction to this book beforehand. I mean he was a good guy. He would rub off the F word on the walls in his sister’s school. However, he was confused about the environment that he was living in. He couldn’t understand all different human behaviours very well. Teenagers are confused about that kind of stuff. However, most of us went past that phase. It doesn’t mean we all turn completely phony. We just got to know that there aren’t only good and bad people. And most importantly, no one is perfect. We can understand now what we couldn’t when we were teenagers.

The writing style of this book seems a bit different. You would think a book of 70,000 words describing activities happening within three days would be tedious. However, it wasn’t boring to read. Most people will find it depressing though.

1. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter – Carson McCullers, 1/1/2012

I was amazed by the writing talent of the author. She finished this masterpiece when she was only 23. I can’t remember what I was good at when I was at that age. Probably I couldn’t get my writing assignment done well. It seems that she didn’t like to waste any ink on anything, anyone or any events. She could use one sentence to kill one character and then start talking about something else. Yet it doesn’t make you feel strange. She presented a vivid dark world in the 1940s in the South of US. There was no justice, no hope and no change. No one knew how this started. And most importantly no one really knew how to end all this. For all sorts of reasons, the characters were all lonely. They tried to fight their loneliness, but that was just in vain. Yet life still continued. The world she presented was so real that I didn’t feel I was just reading a story. I felt I was seeing that world. Yet it didn’t make me feel desperate, which is very strange. I guess McCullers wanted to make people think rather than just sorrow.

By the way, I got to know from the book that the Americans would buy stuff on installment plans in the 1940s. Oh man, they really know how to live a life.

Read Full Post »

6. 人性的弱点 – 卡耐基, 19/12/2011

这 可能是我读过得最好的书中的一本。不过由于是网上下载的,还是翻译过来的,所以漏洞百出。所以就在网上买了一本英文版的,准备再好好读一下。人都是有弱点 的,这本书教会我们认清这些弱点。而这些弱点可以是自身的,也可以是其他人的。与人相处,或在工作中,如果能认清这些,做事情就可以事半功倍。比如人人都 喜欢赞美,真诚地赞美比挑剔讽刺更能激发人的积极性。谁也不喜欢直接地批评,与其揪住已经发生的事,不如想想如何避免更多地损失。这本书可以帮每一个人认 清自己,从而能让人们做一个好人,好同事,一个快乐的人。读一读,我相信你也会有收获。

5. 3分钟搞定对方 – 李屹之, 7/12/2011

这 本书可能不是我所定义的书,更象是教科书。每一章分N个单元,每个单元阐述一个观点,再加上几个例子。如果有课后题就更象教科书了。书中所讲的很多东西也 大都是前人或他人所提及,尤其是一些例子。不过好的地方是,有些中国特色,或说是针对中国人写的。譬如如何敬酒,如何排座位,虽然很俗套。但如果在中国生 活工作,可能还是不能免俗吧。

4. 姥姥语录 – 倪萍,6/11/2011

倪 萍是以前很喜欢的一个主持人,虽然得了一个爱煽情的称号,但我想她的感情是真诚的,不做作的。之前读了她的“日子”。依稀记得主要讲得是一些做主持人的事 情。但是写得很好,尤其是能把一些我们看起来很普通的事情写得津津有味。所以这本书一出,也就尽量在第一时间看了。书出奇得短,不过还是保持她一贯的特 色。所以也就一口气读完了。也许是因为以前也有和外婆一起生活的经历,也许因自己祖籍是山东,读这本书很有感触。她为了让姥姥能忙起来,动起来,不断地骗 她做一些力所能及的劳动,我也很赞同。我在想,现在大都是一家一个孩子,他们的生活方式是不是与以前的已经很不同?而我们所经历的他们是不是还能理解?

3. The other side of the Story – Marian Keyes, 6/10/2011

Three separate yet related stories. Funny and very relaxing to read.

2. blink – the power of thinking without thinking by Malcolm Gladwell, 5/1/2011

We have to make decisions everyday. Do you also believe that you need to gather as much information as possible in order to make it right? Actually, you don’t have to. Human beings have the power of thin slicing, that is, making sense of situations based on the thinnest slice of experience. Yet these snap judgements can be good or bad. The good news is you can be trained to make instant conclusions right. This book will tell you more.

1. Outliers – the story of success by Malcolm Gladwell,

Do you think people like Bill Gates just succeeded because they are geniuses? Well, this book will help you think a bit differently. It tells you all the important factors that make a man successful. And most importantly, you can be successful too. I have to say, I really believed in him after reading lots of convincing stories.

Read Full Post »

Paraprosdokian sentences: A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect … see below …..
(Something that makes you think and laugh:)
Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right — only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire

Ø I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lemon… and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Read Full Post »

春天里

春晚的一曲“春天里”响遍大江南北,唱红了旭日阳刚,也让大家都知道了原唱者汪峰。

春晚之前看新闻的时候,知道有这么一个组合,因为在一个网上视频中光着膀子,露着胸肌+N块腹肌,手里夹着一根烟唱歌,而声名在外。

后来因此参加了“我要上春晚”,后来真的上了春晚。

之前并不知道他们在那个视频中唱的是“春天里。

春晚那天, 在网上看直播。之前主要是想看看本山大叔的小品,顺便看看今年有什么好的其他节目。

然后在听了西单女孩的演唱以后,就等到了旭日阳刚。

刘刚开始唱的时候,有些破音,好象也很紧张,是因为第一次上春晚而激动?

而到王旭独唱的时候,用别人的话说,我被震住了。

他的声音很好听,而且更重要的是,歌声中融入了自己的感情。把歌曲的每个音都唱对,很多歌手都可以。但如何唱出自己的特色,如何声情并茂才是最难的。而且,歌手也是一首歌曲的代言人,一个歌手不可能把所有的歌曲都唱得很好听。这首歌明显是找对了代言人。

歌中的感情再加上朴实的歌词,一下子就打动了我。室友的妈妈,大概五六十岁,扭过头对我说:歌词写得不错。

不过王旭唱歌时的一个动作很让我不解,双手微张放在胸前,久久不放。一个朋友点醒了我,说可能是因为没有烟的缘故。

后来就象大多数网友一样,疯狂地搜索旭日阳刚,春天里,汪峰。也听了那个胸肌版的“春天里”。

两相比较,的确这个旧版本好一些。两个人都很自然,很放松,也就自然而然地唱出了这首歌所要表达的信息。

用农民工来解释最好让人理解,“在街上,在桥下,在田野中”,想象一下农民工的居无定所,相信大家都可以体会。

其实这样的不如意 ,大家都会有。尤其是在中国,没有人会没有。

以前的不如意,现在的不如意,或者是一直的不如意。

多多少少都会有些,所以也更容易引起共鸣,而与年龄无关。

正如歌词中写得那样,当自己什么都慢慢有了的时候,为什么觉得日子却过得没有以前开心?

但这首歌并没有沉浸于对过去的哀悼上,字里行间有着对未来的憧憬,相信明天会更好。

后来偶然看了柴静采访旭日阳刚后写得文字。朋友说柴静写得东西都不错。

不过这篇觉得很一般,通篇可以说是旭日阳刚的回忆录。也许这是柴静想所呈现的,尽量展现朴实无华的旭日阳刚,而并没有加入自己的东西。但换句话说,这样的东西谁都能写出来。

而且柴静问的问题也很一般,显示出她对他们的不了解,自然对他们的经历也无法有着切肤的体会。而最让我受不了的是文中她引用什么老罗的一段话:“看 一个人不是看他最终成为了什么人,而是他本来就是一个什么人。比如说韩寒当时没有成名,后来没有赚到很多钱,也没有那么多 的女朋友等等。但又怎么样呢?如果有一天路过上海郊区的那个小镇,碰到一个默默无闻的年轻人叫韩寒,如果你有幸跟他坐下聊聊天,你仍然会感觉这是一个非常 牛逼的人。” 韩寒有什么成就我还真不清楚,不过文中的意思好象有很多的女朋友也可以和牛逼划等号。什么TMD逻辑?

撇开这些不谈,旭日阳刚的成名之路可以说说。王旭今年44岁,16岁时自己买了一把“六弦琴”(我想应该是吉他)。然后自己摸索学着弹唱,之后看苹 果园,乡演,卖馄饨,在北京烧锅炉,他都没有放弃过唱歌,依然热爱。刘刚当年做狱警的时候,自己买了把吉他,对着林子唱歌壮胆。“Outliers: the story of success”那本书中提过,10,000是一个神奇数字。如果一个人在年轻时能对一门技术加以研究,投入10,000个小时的时间,那他就能做出超出 常人的成就。当年的比尔盖茨也是在电脑上一分一秒地积攒了10,000个小时。10,000个小时可能不是成功的必然条件,但却是先决条件。如今看旭日阳 刚的成名,也得佩服他们多年来的不懈追求。所以还是那句老话,要想成功,就要坚持。

访谈中,王旭谈他们的“成名”过程的一段话挺有意思,“等于两个人没有拿到执照,没有拿着驾照,开着火箭就上天了,多危险,然后很容易迷失方向,等你迷失了方向,你再想回来,就麻烦了”。

在中国成名不易,众口铄金,积毁销骨,希望他们一路走好。

Read Full Post »

袁腾飞 语录

‘因为裸露身体,我们曾经封杀了汤唯。因为裸露历史,我们现在封杀了袁腾飞’ – 2011 给力语录

读了袁腾飞的语录,只觉得六个概括:精辟,独到,震撼!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

袁腾飞: 苏联是世界上最邪恶、最野蛮的,毫不利人,专门利己的国家

袁腾飞:你要在美国的酒吧间里骂美国,你试试,能打死你,你要骂布什,全都给你鼓掌,“好!”,他们政府跟国家完全两个概念。

袁腾飞:因为中国政府跟人民是对立的,所以咱们想当然的就认为国外也是这样。

袁腾飞:咱们老说美国的那个总统选举是大财团干的,那是中国选村长!你说美国总统都是直选的,都是老百姓投票,每一个投票的人我选奥巴马,奥巴马给我钱啦?那是瞎扯蛋,你那脚趾头都能想明白的问题,你信他那宣传呢。那是中国选村长,给一千块钱,上我们家抱头猪去。

袁腾飞:你知道当时(1949年)中国在周边国家眼里是什么形象吗?就好比你坐公交车或地铁的时候,边上坐着一个人,身高两米,体重两百四十斤,光着脑袋,胳膊上刺条龙,你看他心里什么感觉,周边国家看咱就这感觉,毛骨悚然啊!

袁腾飞:我小时候老师给我们上课说的就是:“我们的理想是什么啊?红旗插遍五洲四海,解放全人类”,印度人就晕了:“凭什么解放我啊?我愿意在这种制度下生活,你干嘛把我解放了?”周边国家就很害怕呀,中国要输出共产主义革命啊!

袁腾飞:历史上为什么周边国家要给我们进贡啊?贱骨头啊,为什么?咱们中国大陆的历史书是不讲这个的,台湾的历史教科书他就讲这个,哪朝哪朝对外打什么仗!

袁腾飞:中华人民共和国建国初期号称:“不干涉别国内政”,实际上,他当时是这么说的,可不是这么做的!

袁腾飞:这些国家的共产党都是中国支持的:越共,泰共,寮共(老挝共产党),柬共(柬埔寨共产党,即血腥的红色高棉),缅共,马共,菲共,全都是我 们支持的。马来西亚共产党总书记叫做陈平,住在广州,后来是80年代邓小平访问新加坡,李光耀总理跟他说:“你别支持这些国家的共产党起义什么的,你支持 这些国家的共产党起义就是干涉人家的内政”,邓小平回来才切断了给这些国家共产党的援助,中国一断奶,这些国家的共产党很快就玩完了。

袁腾飞:今天缅甸贩毒的那帮人,全都是原来的缅甸共产党,后来失败了怎么办呢?没法生存了,以毒养军,我们去那个云南的瑞丽出境,到缅甸的第一个特 区城市南坎,南坎相当于中国的深圳,然后你到那去看,老百姓都住着凉席捐的房子,只要住的砖瓦房,就一定是毒枭的房子。一进缅甸那个木棍搭成的国门,道路 两边盛开的都是罂粟花,漂亮极了。迎宾花,缅甸的国花,大街上卖大烟壳,说那玩意涮火锅特好吃。你到了那,简直跟中国没有区别,大街上全是汉字,几乎见不 着缅文。军队穿着打扮,一看就是解放军当年的剩余物资。当年你说不干涉内政,实际上没少干涉,为什么周边国家恨咱们,很大的问题在这。

袁腾飞:缅甸最大的毒枭叫杨国栋,他是当年跑到缅甸支持缅甸革命的红卫兵,缅甸革命失败成毒枭了,他家房子离中国边境200米,为什么建在那儿?你 要打他的话,重武器你不能使,你一开炮打中国来了,轻武器你打不透,据说有地道通到中国来,缅甸政府军一围剿他,他就往中国跑。

袁腾飞:中国不仅抗美援朝,还抗法援越,抗法援越出钱出枪出顾问。解放军在越南人民军力的顾问配到了营一级。越南人民军任何的作战计划如果没有解放军顾问的批准都是不能执行的。

袁腾飞:中国人过去身份相当的人见面的礼仪是拱手,会拱吗?牢记住一定是左手压右手,右手压左手是报丧。

袁腾飞:跟西方人握手要注意:长官先伸手,长辈先伸手,女士先伸手。攥男的手,一定要有劲,攥死他,握女士的手只能握指肚,往里是图谋不轨,哆嗦一下两下就算完。

袁腾飞:1954年新中国第一次以世界五大国身份参加的日内瓦会议商讨的议题是:在越南,朝鲜两地停战,恢复和平。这两地没中国打的起来吗?所以停战没中国去行吗?等于中国一成立就面临着两线作战:抗美援朝、抗法援越,抗美援朝是咱直接出兵,抗法援越出钱出枪出顾问。

袁腾飞:1955年万隆会议上,骂中国最凶的是泰国,菲律宾和沙特阿拉伯,太过时佛教国,菲律宾是罗马天主教,沙特阿拉伯是伊斯兰教。这仨国骂咱没有人权,没有宗教信仰自由,输出共产主义啊,从早上九点骂到下午四点······

袁腾飞:毛泽东会见赫鲁晓夫的地点定在游泳池,赫鲁晓夫西装革履的一进来就傻了,毛泽东穿衣游泳裤,盖一毛巾被在那躺着。赫鲁晓夫就晕了:没见过领 导人这么非正式会晤的。国与国领导人之间非正式会晤,一般就是西装不打领带,穿个夹克,穿个衬衫,没见过穿泳裤会晤的,当时咱们认为毛主席蔑视一切。你有 什么资格看不起赫鲁晓夫啊?人家是苏联大国领导人。

袁腾飞:毛泽东说:“我们准备拿出3亿人来打核战争”,死三亿无所谓,全世界敢这么干的就俩,除了毛泽东,就是本·拉登。反美反苏嘛,本拉登还是先反苏,后反美,敢同时干的就毛泽东!但本拉登同志比毛泽东强在哪?他是真干,毛泽东只敢嚷嚷。

中共外交部长陈毅在记者招待会上指着自己的白头发:“我们等打仗等的头发都白了,这仗怎么还打不起来啊?趁着我们这帮老家伙还在,先打,打完了我们再建设”,外国记者都晕了:“哇,希特勒他也不敢这么说啊”

袁腾飞:中国人当年上街游行的标语“砸烂勃列日涅夫的狗头”,人家在苏联呐,你怎么砸啊?“油炸苏联总理科希金”、“火烧尼克松”,喊口号是最好的发泄爱国热情的方法,真上战场,一个个腿肚子转筋,大小便失禁。

袁腾飞:当年的美中苏三国就是魏蜀吴的关系,美国经济走下坡路,陷于越战泥潭,所以美国要判断两个国家谁对美国的威胁大?当然是苏联!咬的狗不叫, 叫的狗不咬,中国那时整天嚷嚷解放全人类,他自己他都解放不了,国内饿死那么多人,他对世界和平不构成威胁,他只对本国人民构成威胁。

袁腾飞:中国外交特爱干讨嘴上便宜的事,比如当年写尼克松访华的邀请函“应美国总统尼克松的要求,中华人民共和国决定邀请他访问中国”,基辛格一看:“这是尼克松邀请尼克松访问中国”,再比如:“应美国总统布什的要求,胡锦涛主席与之通话”···

袁腾飞:1972年美国总统尼克松访华,刚下飞机,映入眼帘的是一行大字“打倒美帝国主义”,忘了拆了,来不及了。尼克松在“打倒美帝国主义”几个大字前面检阅三军仪仗队,幸亏他不认识汉字,他要问,翻译肯定跟他说“welcome  to  china”。

袁腾飞:咱们现在最常用的一个词“海峡两岸”是美国人发明的。

袁腾飞:日本当年跟中国建交,咱们付出了相当大的代价:我们放弃了对日的战争赔偿,当时如果索取这个赔偿的话,大概是1800亿美元!毛泽东和周恩 来们认为如果我们索要这笔赔偿,这笔钱就会转嫁到日本人民身上,战争是日本军阀发动的,日本人民是很无辜的。咱们中国老是这么认为:人民跟政府是对立的。 除了中国,哪的人民跟政府都是一条心,来中国侵略的日本兵是日本贵族子弟吗?没有日本农民、矿工吗?哪一个不是日本人民?但咱们就认为不该要这笔钱。

袁腾飞:中国的外交关系出现重大转折,跟西方国家的关系改善,恰恰是在文革时期。那是因为两方有共同的敌人—苏联,等这个共同敌人一没,中美两国也就掰了,回不到七八十年代的蜜月水平了,掰也掰不到朝鲜战争的水平。

袁腾飞:中美关系三大瓶颈或障碍:贸易问题、人权问题、台湾问题。

袁腾飞:你看胡总、江总、温总啊到美国、欧洲访问,都得带着什么去啊?都得带着钱去,带着支票本,跟那一花几十亿欧元、美元,人家才有空接见你,顾客是上帝嘛。

袁腾飞:中美关系三大障碍之一:人权问题,最简单的,死刑问题。取消死刑是板上钉钉的事,肯定会取消死刑。死刑在西方国家看来,属于“同态报复”。 最早的时候,你把我眼睛挖了,法官就判决我把你眼睛挖了,死刑亦属于“同态报复”法。世界上2/3的国家是废除死刑的。美国日本只有一种情况判死刑:就是 一级谋杀,即故意杀人。韩国7种罪,印度是4种罪,中国是80种罪适用于死刑。

袁腾飞:我认为除了故意杀伤人命,其他的不应该判死刑,你比如说贪污,贪污真不应该判死刑,你崩了他到痛快了他了。按毛泽东的话讲:“让他为人民生产小米嘛”,你原来日进斗金,一天一千万,现在让你天天掏粪,他最后一脑袋扎进粪坑里了,用不着你判他死刑。

袁腾飞:我认为除了故意杀伤人命,其他的不应该判死刑,你还得看什么样的故意杀伤人命:你比如说咱俩搞对象,你背叛我,我把你掐死,这种人也不应该 判死刑,因为谁跟他搞对象他掐死谁,对吧,你别跟他搞对象不就完了嘛,他不会掐不相干的人。那种拦路抢劫,这种人你可以崩了他,所以判死刑的刑种应该减 少。

袁腾飞:外国现在攻击中国你为什么坚持那么多判死刑啊?就因为那死刑犯的器官你可以卖,可以移植,当然死刑犯都是签我“自愿”捐献遗体,罪犯也有的有一种悔罪心理,反正我也要死了,把握剌吧剌吧谁需要给谁吧,但是谁需要给谁,你给人家的时候是需要要钱的。

袁腾飞:中国当年猛挖地道、防空洞用来防原子弹,就那玩意儿,手榴弹都防不了。

袁腾飞:1976年中国人民解放军达到了天文数字:661万人,比朝鲜战争时还多60万,当时全国上下最流行的颜色就是绿军装。国民财富全都浪费在扩军备战当中,就跟现在的北朝鲜一样嘛,先军政治。

袁腾飞:今天世界上谁有能力发动世界大战?这几个有核国家!只要这几个国家不落在丧心病狂的独裁者手中,爆发世界大战的可能性是不存在的。

袁腾飞:中国新闻联播头25分钟伟大光荣正确,后5分钟世界各国灾难。

袁腾飞:美国苏联的核武器如果全爆炸的话,地球半年见不着太阳,气温降到零下六十度,所有的生命全部灭绝。核战争没有最后的胜利者,正是因为有了这种恐怖的武器,使人类享受了60年的和平。

袁腾飞:法国的军队搞了一个调查,说如果现在爆发世界大战,开战5分钟,法军70%精神崩溃。尤其像中国都是独生子女,像你们这样的送到战场,炮火硝烟,旁边咣一声你哥们脑袋送上天去啦,胳膊腿落你身上,你立刻就疯了。

袁腾飞:那年中非论坛,非洲欠咱100亿美元,咱手一挥,不要了,你要他也没有,完事咱又给他30亿。老黑就这样,大陆给钱就跟大陆建交,台湾给钱 就跟台湾建交,这帮人寡廉鲜耻,背信弃义,翻脸比翻书都快,心比脸黑多了那帮人。为什么使劲给他们砸钱,这帮老黑联合国一国一票把中国抬进联合国。

袁腾飞:梵蒂冈跟台湾建交,跟中国大陆不建交是因为条件谈不拢:梵蒂冈认为应该罗马教宗任命主教,咱们坚决不同意,咱们认为主教应该国务院宗教事物管理局任命。实际上,西方谚语说得好:“上帝的归上帝,凯撒的归凯撒”,宗教是宗教,政治是政治。

Read Full Post »

英國 ,學了圈地運動,不學代議立憲;對法國 ,學了革命屠殺,不學啟蒙光輝;對德國 ,學了納粹崇拜,不學哲人輩出;對美國 ,學了投機泡沫,不學運籌帷幄;對意大利 ,學了無賴散漫,不學文藝復興 ;對日本 ,學了逆來順受,不學條分縷析;對古代,學了專制愚民,不學崇文重道。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

以上我觉得是我看过的最强的“中国犀利Gag”。

Read Full Post »

10.10.2010

据说,今天是本世纪最幸运的日子之一。2010年10月10号,寓意十分十全十美。
看澳洲新闻时,一位命理学家说,如果有什么事情想去做的,今天是最佳的开始时间。
现在只剩一个小时,想想今天做了一点工作,看了电影,玩了电脑游戏,打台球时还凭实力小赢了几把。
不知不觉中竟做了这么多事情。也玩了,也工作了,真正的劳逸结合。
希望新的一年,工作顺利,玩得开心!

Read Full Post »

犀利gag﹕專家說

橋垮了,專家說和質量沒關係;樓價高了,專家說和地價沒關係;泥石流來了,專家說和植被沒關係;不良反應,專家說和疫苗沒關係;吃龍蝦得病了,專家說和洗蝦粉沒關係;專家的老婆懷孕了,大家都說和專家一定沒關係……

Read Full Post »

中國天災?

「剛一個美國    朋友發信息給我,說希望我在中國的家人平安。弄得我都不好意思,只能回覆她:『您問的是泥石流、洪水?還是爆炸、拆遷?』她回覆我說:『是泥石流』」

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »